Melvyn Tan
September 20, 2013 — By tanmelvyn@gmail.com

How Do You Engage Your Direct Reports

[blockquote source=”Galatians 5: 13-14 (NIV)“]You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[/blockquote] As I reflected upon this one command “Love […]

[blockquote source=”Galatians 5: 13-14 (NIV)“]You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[/blockquote]

As I reflected upon this one command “Love your neighbour as yourself”; I constantly ask myself what does it mean to “love my neighbour”?  Does it mean I have to “love” everyone even when they are annoying?  Does it mean I have to “love” my enemies or competition even when they cause me pain?  As I mature in my spiritual journey, I came to realise that this “love” is essentially a filter that you see everything through.

For instance, there are people who, despite whatever had happened, will still see the positive side of things.  On the other hand, there are also individuals who, despite everything that is positive, can pick up the negative aspects of it.  Hence, “love” is the filter in which you see everything through.

In their book, “Own The Room“, Amy Jen Su and Muriel Maignan Wilkins introduced the ACE approach in coaching their clients to discover their unique signature voice:

  • Assumptions: what you believed to be true
  • Communication strategies: your choice of words
  • Energy: your actions and behaviours

In my coaching practice, I advice my clients to engage their direct reports using the “love” approach.

  • Assumptions: I love my direct reports
  • Communication strategies: nurture, let’s work on this together, I’d like to help you, help me understand from your point of view, are there any circumstances that you face which I should be aware of
  • Energy: send a checklist to the direct reports on what is to be discussed during appraisal, buy the direct reports a drink during the appraisal, send a thank you note to the direct reports after the appraisal

Father, thank You for loving me unconditionally.  Help me see the world through the lens of “love” so that I can keep the command by Jesus.  In His name, Amen.