Melvyn Tan
December 10, 2013 — By tanmelvyn@gmail.com

Think Before You Speak

[blockquote source=”Proverbs 29:20 (NLT)“]There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.[/blockquote] Think before you speak Have you ever said something to someone only to regret it almost immediately? This just happened to me yesterday. I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the many to-dos on my list that I […]

[blockquote source=”Proverbs 29:20 (NLT)“]There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.[/blockquote]

Think before you speak
Have you ever said something to someone only to regret it almost immediately?

This just happened to me yesterday. I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the many to-dos on my list that I haven’t had time nor energy to get round to doing it. Besides, with two active children in the household, where their sleeping routines are not synchronized and with the many household tasks that need to be completed; I was feeling less than inspired to say the least.

And so I said something to my wife and son that I wish I didn’t; almost immediately after I’ve said it.

In truth, I know they will both understand my circumstances and will forgive me.

Trust and Love at Home
They will forgive me because there’s trust and love at home. Hence when something like this happens, family members would usually understand and forgive and move on. The prerequisite to that is that you must have already built that a high level of trust or have made deposits into their emotional account such that an episode like this will blow over in no time.

However, when this happens too often, the withdrawals made might be more than whatever has been deposited, hence, creating a deficit.

And especially in this domain, it is easy to think that such episodes are small and insignificant. And assume that family members will understand and love you nonetheless. And hence, one might be tempted to continue like this until it becomes irreparable.

Family as the last line of defense
There is nothing more disastrous than an estranged family relationship. Family is usually the last line of defense. Where you may not be loved or appreciated by others; family should always be there for you.

I still remember that when the dot-com company I joined went bust and the working relationships amongst us went south with threats and lawsuits impending, I’d know that my parents would still love me nonetheless. And in fact, that was the thing that kept me going which eventually led me to start my own consulting practice. Without that emotional security that I’d always be loved, I don’t think I would be able to survive even another day. Or perhaps I will survive physically but deep down I might be dead many times over.

Making amends
I am off to making my amends in the morning when I see both my wife and kids. And it is true that there is more hope for a fool than someone who speaks without thinking.

Prayer
Father, please forgive me for I have spoken hastily and caused hurt and pain to You and all those around me. Father, please guide me as I build my emotional strength so that I am better empowered to manage my emotions rather than allowing my emotions to manage me. In Christ name I pray, Amen.